Guilt feelings and Perserverance written 2/22/10

I should be sleeping by now as it is almost 12:30 in the morning but I could not close my eyes without first writing about the message God sent to me today. I am in awe as to how that played out but I know God works in ways unknown to us but always on time.

The first message I received today was about guilt feelings. There are several kinds. The first is the guilty feeling from your conscience when you have done something against God’s word or law (which we should have). The second is guilty feelings we have when we haven’t done anything wrong but we feel guilty about the action (these we shouldn’t have). Ironically, today I found out that Cevi fractured his arm yesterday when he fell off the bike at Grandma’s. I immediately started regretting allowing him to play outside with his cousin and then feeling guilty about going over Grandma’s in the first place when all Cevi wanted to do was stay home and watch the movie Starstruck. He even offered to cook if we didn’t leave. Then I switched to beating myself up for not taking him to the doctor yesterday when he first hurt himself. While I was showering and contemplating about the day, the words coming from the speaker on the radio program I was listening to this afternoon popped in my head. At that instant, I had an A-ha moment. God led my spirit to turn to the AM stations and flip through them causing me to land on the spot where the speaker was talking about these guilt feelings and how people try to use those to manipulate others or their situations. I am so thankful that my reception of listening to God’s Holy Spirit is getting clearer. I probably would have been worried to death all night if it had not been for the lessons and messages I have received today.

The other message was about perseverance. I have been diligently reading and learning God’s word and allowing it to penetrate my heart and become in tune with every fiber of my being. At first when I tried to read this passage at the urgent care center, I could not take it in. The boys were making so much noise and being so rambunctious that I could not concentrate on the words. So when I got home and read the passage again, it all made much more sense. It was talking about waiting on God. I have learned so many lessons this past year about patience and it being a virtue. It was definitely something I was lacking in quite a few areas of my life but every day I draw closer to being more patient and understanding. I am happier with my kids. They don’t stress me as often as they used to. We are having a better communicative relationship although they still test the waters. God has truly been working on us as a family unit. I am so thankful for that. Be still and know that I am God! Whew. Still in awe!