You know for years I thought I was being a Christian because I loved God and believed that Jesus Christ died for my sins, read the bible occasionally and prayed. However, it was not until a few years back that I realized this was only the surface of what it means to be a Christian. I have found that I was considered a baby in Christ’s eyes, slow to learn if you will. Not because I was unable to grasp the concept or had a learning problem but because I only came to Him when I was in pain and needed Him. Just like a baby needs milk to “pacify” the hunger pain in its tummy so did I come to God, pray, and read the bible.
I did not practice all the principals listed in the elementary part of the bible (the Old Testament). I also was not as humble as I had envisioned myself being. If I kept to myself and did not bother anyone I believed that I was being a Christian. I was entirely and completely wrong. Everything in the world was a distraction to me, my husband, the kids’ behavior in school, and my job issues. I did not know what it meant to worship him. Sure, I went to church but I had no desire in my heart to LEARN about what more he required of me. That was scary for me because if I knew then I would have to act accordingly. Ignorance is bliss. I was giving lip service without realizing it. Hatred was in my heart for others which in the New Testament is likened to killing someone which in the 10 commandments (Old Testament teaching) commands not to do. I was judgmental in some instances toward others, which I had no right to do.
Recently a situation arose in my life after coming to terms that I was in need and wanting to draw closer to God. I was learning to pray every day and more than once a day. Diligently reading my Bible was my goal but I still would become distracted by issues or people that came into my life. I was made to deal with conflict where before I used to shy away from. Now, I am becoming more emboldened about handling issues that arise. Case in point, I had a friend or who I thought was a friend that I helped out. Our relationship soured in a matter of weeks without rhyme or reason. I still to this day do not know what caused the tension to mount where we were no longer on speaking terms but I remember that people come into our lives for a reason whether it’s seasonal or a lifetime. This was definitely seasonal. It hurt but helped me to see where I was weak in my character and how to handle conflict better. I am no longer as timid to voice my thoughts nor afraid to admit if I was wrong.
I also learned which battles to fight and which to walk away from. Today I walked away from the final battle with my “friend”. I was asking for something to be returned to me which was agreed upon would be returned. A few days passed without anything showing up or communication so I sent a nice reminder with a note that I will not bother them any longer about the item. In return I got a not so nice accusatory reply regarding my kids and myself. So of course I automatically became heated and was ready to rip a reply that was going to encourage the fire. But just this morning I had prayed on my spiritual maturity and asking God to help me grow in my maturity in him. So instead of responding returning the accusations, I bid farewell and blessings. Then I deleted all connection, i.e. phone, text, etc because there is no need to continue allowing negativity in your life. People come into our lives for a reason and that person’s time in my life had expired. I was happy at how I responded even though it would have felt good (REALLY GOOD) to argue back or even find a way to retaliate. I chose not to do so and now the anger that welled in my heart is subsiding.
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Monday, December 13, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Blog 11/24/10 Dreams
I have had several dreams that stuck with me so vividly when I woke up that I wrote them down. Now in each of these dreams except for one, I was a successful business woman, very well-educated, well-respected and loved. But above all God was working through me to bring people closer to Him.
So what was the point of these dreams? I need to be directing people to God by being a witness for Him and His son Jesus Christ. Where is this going? I believe I am going to be a great influence to assist people dealing with heavy issues to help them heal and look towards God for guidance. What did these dreams mean about who I am? I believe they are saying that I have so much strength and poise, very persuasive, a strong believer in God and able to comfort others when upset. What about who I have been? Well to tell the truth I was not realizing the potential God designed me to achieve. I was in a rut. I was depressed, unhappy, overweight, felt like I was not worth anything. I was questioning my worth and why anyone valued me if they did. I didn’t like myself and I was trying to be a matriarch for my family. My life was a disaster and I was crying out to God for a change. Now with that said who am I becoming? I believe God is refining me to be someone greater than I was; someone that will affect people facing hardships to learn about God and to love Him or to renew their dwindling faith in Him.
He has put in me so many ideas but always it comes down to how can I use that idea to praise God? How can I use the service I am providing to honor God? I have thought long and hard about which avenue I should pursue. The modeling? The restaurant? The shoe/clothing line? Dance? Graduate School? It seems right now God is asking me to focus on the children but is giving me the opportunity to model at the same time. I thought I was supposed to go to Grad school right now but He is showing me now is not the time. I had too much on my plate to be able to focus and study like I needed to. My home was not in order. I am starting to get organized and on track. I am Following On Course Until Successful (FOCUS). I believe that once I get some things in alignment with what God is asking of me then the rest will come. So I have to stay focused and determined to stay on my path and not stray by trying to figure out things that I just need to be patient and wait on God to deliver especially since I have no control over them.
Do you have dreams and if so have some of them been manifested or is your sleep full of nightmares? I used to have those to which meant I was stressed in my waking life pressing the pain and frustration down and burying them deep inside while they were manifesting themselves in my dream state causing me not to have ANY restful sleep. Pay attention to your dreams it is your spirit and God speaking to you.
So what was the point of these dreams? I need to be directing people to God by being a witness for Him and His son Jesus Christ. Where is this going? I believe I am going to be a great influence to assist people dealing with heavy issues to help them heal and look towards God for guidance. What did these dreams mean about who I am? I believe they are saying that I have so much strength and poise, very persuasive, a strong believer in God and able to comfort others when upset. What about who I have been? Well to tell the truth I was not realizing the potential God designed me to achieve. I was in a rut. I was depressed, unhappy, overweight, felt like I was not worth anything. I was questioning my worth and why anyone valued me if they did. I didn’t like myself and I was trying to be a matriarch for my family. My life was a disaster and I was crying out to God for a change. Now with that said who am I becoming? I believe God is refining me to be someone greater than I was; someone that will affect people facing hardships to learn about God and to love Him or to renew their dwindling faith in Him.
He has put in me so many ideas but always it comes down to how can I use that idea to praise God? How can I use the service I am providing to honor God? I have thought long and hard about which avenue I should pursue. The modeling? The restaurant? The shoe/clothing line? Dance? Graduate School? It seems right now God is asking me to focus on the children but is giving me the opportunity to model at the same time. I thought I was supposed to go to Grad school right now but He is showing me now is not the time. I had too much on my plate to be able to focus and study like I needed to. My home was not in order. I am starting to get organized and on track. I am Following On Course Until Successful (FOCUS). I believe that once I get some things in alignment with what God is asking of me then the rest will come. So I have to stay focused and determined to stay on my path and not stray by trying to figure out things that I just need to be patient and wait on God to deliver especially since I have no control over them.
Do you have dreams and if so have some of them been manifested or is your sleep full of nightmares? I used to have those to which meant I was stressed in my waking life pressing the pain and frustration down and burying them deep inside while they were manifesting themselves in my dream state causing me not to have ANY restful sleep. Pay attention to your dreams it is your spirit and God speaking to you.
5/10/10 Gossip
The word gossip can cause so much havoc in people’s lives yet we still continue to do it. I don’t think many believe that they are doing wrong by what they do. I have been the victim of gossip many, many times. And at some instances I have been guilty of gossip myself. However, I learned lessons from it and make an effort to refrain from doing so. It can be very daunting at times especially when we as women are so emotional and love to communicate. I have found that I am worried about if what I am saying will get back to that person then I know I am partaking in gossip. Then it is up to me to correct what I am doing.
I have felt a need to declare some things to certain people in my life but have not done so because I was unsure if they would be receptive to what I had to say. So instead I have discussed my feelings about things to others. Mostly trying to see if what I am observing is valid and how to go about talking to that person about their behaviors or actions. But what good is it doing the person that is in the wrong or heading down a negative direction by me NOT telling them and only telling others? Not a thing. It is not benefiting them one bit. Therefore it is gossip.
However, after reading my morning scriptures and lessons for today, I realize that there are going to be people in this world that will have hardened hearts and deaf ears to the warnings we give to them. But we as Christians must deliver that message. I like the analogy provided this morning of a friend that is blindfolded headed for a 300-ft drop. Would we stand by and just allow that friend to continue walking on that cliff or will we try fervently with all our power to stop that friend and remove the blindfold from their eyes for them to see the danger that lay ahead of them? And not only does that analogy pertain to Gossip but any thing that they may be doing that will cause them ruin in the end.
On my vision board I have “Speak the Truth in Love”. That is what I must fall on about telling others about the issues surrounding them. Just like warning the friend of the 300ft drop, I must lovingly tell my people that I care about that the way they are walking is treacherous and will cause them pain in the end. But I don’t have to beat it into them or forcefully try to make them see my point (i.e. arguing with them.). However, I don’t need to be whispering the warning either so low that they can barely hear me. I must speak loud and clear enough for them to hear the warning and understand what is being said. Therefore, the guilt of their demise will not lie upon my heart because they were warned.
So in final: speak the truth in love and we as women (and some men) need to refrain from gossiping about others, for it is sinful. But lift each other up and encourage one another. As Christ commanded in Matthew 22:39 …,’Love your neighbor as yourself’.
I have felt a need to declare some things to certain people in my life but have not done so because I was unsure if they would be receptive to what I had to say. So instead I have discussed my feelings about things to others. Mostly trying to see if what I am observing is valid and how to go about talking to that person about their behaviors or actions. But what good is it doing the person that is in the wrong or heading down a negative direction by me NOT telling them and only telling others? Not a thing. It is not benefiting them one bit. Therefore it is gossip.
However, after reading my morning scriptures and lessons for today, I realize that there are going to be people in this world that will have hardened hearts and deaf ears to the warnings we give to them. But we as Christians must deliver that message. I like the analogy provided this morning of a friend that is blindfolded headed for a 300-ft drop. Would we stand by and just allow that friend to continue walking on that cliff or will we try fervently with all our power to stop that friend and remove the blindfold from their eyes for them to see the danger that lay ahead of them? And not only does that analogy pertain to Gossip but any thing that they may be doing that will cause them ruin in the end.
On my vision board I have “Speak the Truth in Love”. That is what I must fall on about telling others about the issues surrounding them. Just like warning the friend of the 300ft drop, I must lovingly tell my people that I care about that the way they are walking is treacherous and will cause them pain in the end. But I don’t have to beat it into them or forcefully try to make them see my point (i.e. arguing with them.). However, I don’t need to be whispering the warning either so low that they can barely hear me. I must speak loud and clear enough for them to hear the warning and understand what is being said. Therefore, the guilt of their demise will not lie upon my heart because they were warned.
So in final: speak the truth in love and we as women (and some men) need to refrain from gossiping about others, for it is sinful. But lift each other up and encourage one another. As Christ commanded in Matthew 22:39 …,’Love your neighbor as yourself’.
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