Mothers

As Mother’s day approaches, I find myself thinking of how I have been as a mother to my kids. I know I have done some things that were not to their benefit but I can honestly say in the last year I have put them first in my decisions and my ambitions. Sometimes I find myself wanting to be selfish by wanting to do something for myself but ultimately I am worrying for them and trying to make sure that anything I do does not have a negative impact on them.

I have seen some of my actions that were hurting them and immediately took stock of whether it was that important for me to continue with what I was participating in at their expense. I have found that it is not. My job is to mother them first and foremost. Then I can pursue things for myself. I have learned that being a mother is not just providing for their material and nutritional needs but it is also a nurturing process. I AM their role model. I don’t need to look to anyone else for them to look to for a positive influence.

As I was talking to a friend last night about her relationship with her child it struck me so profoundly what I had been discussing in counseling. They initially told me and also throughout therapy that I need to be the pack leader for my boys. Because the Alpha male is missing in their lives, I had to step in and be that for them. I was not ready for that task and wanted a man to assume that role as it should have been. But God led me to see that they NEEDED me to do this for them because they were lost. If I waited for a suitable male to come in or for their father to actually step up to fulfill his duty, it will be too late.

It all starts with me, the mother. The molding and shaping of how my children will deal with life; it all starts with me. Like the baby ducks mimic their mamas so the children imitate the examples provided for them. However, there are some special cases where there are special people in their lives that step in to help in the molding process and give them alternative paths to choose. Some positive and some negative. Thankfully for me I had the positive influences in my life. So pulling upon those experiences I am transforming yet again to be a better mother, and person overall. I want to be the leader that they can look to and see how to handle life. I want to be that pillar of strength for them in their time of need. I want to be that lighthouse beacon in the storm guiding them along the shore. Because I know that God’s light is shining through me I believe I will succeed.

I pray that you too are that ray of light for your children or some special child in your life (niece, nephew, relative, friend, etc.). Step in and provide a positive path for that child to follow and a beacon of strength to draw upon as they grow and mature into an adult. Happy mother’s day!!!